From Here to There

An Ambitious Adventure in Life, Style, and Everything in Between

I Want to Live

November 3, 2010

Where does the time go? Holy crow, this week has gone by so quick! Sometimes, I feel like time is just getting eaten up and thrown away every single day. So, I’ve made it my purpose to set out to do something worth doing everyday. That can be hard when I’m trying to balance the multitude of equally important priorities in my life, but when I look back on my life; I want to say that this time counted for something. I want to say that I did something purposeful.

The next few weeks are going to be InSaNe until I finish the semester. I need to wrap up my senior seminar documentary, get ready to open in Little Women next month, make the most out of my internship with Ch 4, and figure out some way to actually pass my other classes! (Math…gross..)

In other stressful news, my puppy passed away on Monday. It was really awful. We had Daisy for 12 years and she was really a part of the family. I know it seems silly to some people, but losing your pet can be very traumatic. Everyone was really upset so now we’re just sort of dealing with it the best way we know how and trying to remember Daisy at her very best. I was so sad on Monday that I didn’t want to do anything at all.

But, instead I went to my filming that I had arranged for my documentary and am so grateful that I did. I met an amazing young man, who shall remain nameless for the sake of privacy. He is fourteen years old and is suffering from brain cancer. The doctors say his prognosis at the moment is not promising, yet he seems to stay positive and full of life.

I am blown away by the amount of courage he has displayed and it really put my life into perspective. I am so thankful for the many blessings in my life and I hope I don’t take too many things for granted. There was one thing that he said to his Mom (who is also a strong and courageous human being) that really stuck with me. When discussing the different types of therapy available to him, ____ and his Mom were at an impasse because one particular treatment had a slightly higher success rate, but takes a dreadful toll on the body, leaving the patient bed ridden. The lesser therapy is also effective but has less consequence in regards to patient time spent in the hospital. ____ decided to take the route with less effect on the time he would need to stay at the hospital. His reason to his mother was as follows, “I don’t just want to survive, I want to live.”

Today, I filmed a visiting artist session with the kids from the oncology floor. The organization brought in a local artist, a painter, who worked extensively with the kids for about 2 hours to take their mind off the chemo. One girl had her chemo drip taken off while she was in the session so she could have a break. Her face lit up for the first time since I’d been there. That overwhelming joy, stemming from a break from this hardship that is too heavy for a child her age, must be a breath of fresh air. I could see the light on her Mom’s face. This, in conjunction with her time in the session made her happy, even if just for a second. And that one second of happiness is what this organization is all about.

Working with these children just in the brief amount of time I have, has had a more profound affect on my point of view than anything else has in years. These kids have a strength and maturity powerful enough to move mountains, but it exists inside these weak and frail bodies. I know many of these things have been said before and I don’t intend to be trite, but I aspire to their bravery and I don’t even think they realize how great they are. Another boy, a seven year old, spent his time in the session room today. He was completely bald from the treatments he’d received but strutted in the room with confidence I can only hope to garner at some point in my life. He wasn’t much bigger than my four year old nephew, but he came walking into the room with the IV drip three times his size in tow. Of course, his mother tried to push it for him, but he wouldn’t have it. Honestly, when I first saw him it felt like a kick in the gut and the tears immediately welled up in my eyes. I can’t imagine how the people in AWAH push through this everyday, but I am definitely glad they do. After meeting with him and observing his time with the paint, I got to see even more of his beautiful personality on display and I felt at ease. I understand now that the reward in making even just one child smile is far greater than any pity you could feel for them. I hope I can fulfill my purpose here, I’m counting on it. 


  1. Wow!! What a powerful post!! I know I say it all the time, but you AMAZE me. I almost feel that I was right there with you when you were filming/interviewing these kids. You brought tears to my eyes, and I KNOW that your documentary is going to be unbelievable.

    I can already see how you will definitely fulfil your purpose with this documentary by showing how strong and courageous these kids are while dealing with such a horrendous disease, and how the organization is giving them an escape by showing them how to express themselves through art. I haven't even seen any film and can already picture it just by the words you have written!! I can't wait until you are done!!

    Congratulations on such a great start! I love you...

  2. Ha and you call me amazing! I am starting to see that you my friend are going to do amazing things with your art of filming and writing! You and Nick are a wonderful pair. He is open with you and has trust in you to share his story in hopes of course to get FUNDS for Art with a Heart. Remember we are smiling today and laughing at crazy jokes...enjoying life and taking in every moment and im sure you are doing the same! Thank you for becoming part of our journey...we are blessed to have you along!